As I listened to the pastor’s message yesterday in the morning service, I was reminded by a question I used to struggle with.
As a child, I used to wonder and remain puzzled about one particular thing that the Bible told.
Why did they kill Jesus?
(Yes, of course apart from what I had known that Jesus came to die, and it was his purpose of condescending to this lowly earth, so he might die in our place)—but still, how come they killed him?
It was just too much for my child mind to comprehend, how come people who had seen him doing good for so many people; healing them, blessing them, feeding them, teaching them, liberating them, loving them, had a heart to flog, ridicule, and eventually put him to death in a shameful way—hanging on the tree?
Didn’t they see what I see in his cross? I don’t see the shame in it, I only see love, great love that made him stay there willingly, nailed and bled, while he could have come down if he’d wanted to.
Why did they hate Jesus, so much to want to do away with him?
The pastor phrased the reason in one sentence: Jesus did not fit in their religious system. It didn’t matter that he fulfilled all the prophecies in the Scriptures, they rejected him because he did not appear the way they wanted him to.
I too, in my life, have often acted the same way as they did, to some extent. Judging the books by their covers, judging people by outward appearance only, while what matters most lies inside us. When my sight is blurred by worldly things, I miss out the most important ones.
So, while it’s Christmas, I want to ask the Lord to once again cleanse my eyes so I’ll be able to see with a childlike manner, with a childlike faith. So as I see the helpless Babe in the manger, I would not mind the manure, would not mind the dirty stall full of animals. Instead, I would be amazed to see how low God was willing to stoop for me and you. And since I don’t have gold, incense, or myrrh, all I can do is to bow down all of me in front of him, and give him all I have: my welcoming heart, warmer than the heap of hay in his manger.
HAVE A BLESSED CHRISTMAS, MY FRIENDS!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
(HE) LOVES ME, (HE) LOVES ME NOT
There are two kinds of guys that drove me nuts: stalker(s) and cool prince(s) charming. They both are annoying in their own way when they rub my back in the wrong direction. As being opposite to each other, they always prevail to make me grit my teeth, in annoyance, or in frustration. And maybe (or so I hope), all girls can sympathize with me to some extent.
Princes charming are aloof, untouchable, and despite their being near physically, they are still unapproachable, like a ball thrown too far, completely out of our league. When we wish they would call, or impatiently and frantically wait for any text, still the phone doesn’t ring nor beep, and the inbox remains empty. Sometimes they compel us to give them a green sign, and we reluctantly do, but still they wouldn’t bother to budge. They always create the same feeling inside me the way Latin music does, makes my feet wanna tap and swing around when I don’t have a partner to dance with. They make us thrilled for a while, but then the thrill is fading fast like a rose lacking of water.
Stalkers, in other hand, seem to be also blind (or ignorant, or indifferent?) towards our signs to shun them away. They make phone calls like daily ritual, sometimes to a frequency of taking your pills: three times a day—as if our schedule only consists of talking with them while we don’t even enjoy the conversation, and desperately think how to end it, and later, when it is getting worse and no longer bearable, we try to avoid it as often as we can. And oh boy, you’ll be amazed of how persistent they can be!
For me, friendship develops gradually—from an acquaintance, friend, close friend, more than a friend, and God willing, perhaps he is that long awaited soulmate. And so, a friend of a friend who you’ve just met one or twice is being unfair when he demands more time than what you have or are willing to spare for your own friends.
And also, there are some seasonal friends—those who were part of our stages in life and now as time has passed and you’ve changed a lot, you two might not fit in anymore to each other—and so he also has to start from the beginning again. And if he is not patient enough to go through the friendship phases I mentioned above, and trying to skip some initial phases instead, I find him very intrusively demanding, impolite, and extremely bugging. He is just like blasting rock music when what you really need is tranquility. He robs your peace by always pushing but never understanding.
However, the only question with me now is this: If a prince charming starts acting like a stalker, will he make you super-thrilled with the lavishing of attention, or will you downgrade his position to a ‘stalker category’ and lose your interest in him? I happen to have not a chance yet to test the hypothesis. But as for me, no matter how deeply I am attracted to somebody, I cannot let him have my whole time—I still need some for my family, friends and girlfriends, and most of all, being an introvert, I need time for my own self.
In this case, my previous objection towards long distance relationship starts to dissolve itself. In short words, I’m willing to try it even though I know that there will be times when all I can do is sitting alone on a bench in a garden, tearing the petals from their core one by one while sadly whispering to myself: he loves me… he loves me not… he loves me…. he loves me not…..he loves me.
Princes charming are aloof, untouchable, and despite their being near physically, they are still unapproachable, like a ball thrown too far, completely out of our league. When we wish they would call, or impatiently and frantically wait for any text, still the phone doesn’t ring nor beep, and the inbox remains empty. Sometimes they compel us to give them a green sign, and we reluctantly do, but still they wouldn’t bother to budge. They always create the same feeling inside me the way Latin music does, makes my feet wanna tap and swing around when I don’t have a partner to dance with. They make us thrilled for a while, but then the thrill is fading fast like a rose lacking of water.
Stalkers, in other hand, seem to be also blind (or ignorant, or indifferent?) towards our signs to shun them away. They make phone calls like daily ritual, sometimes to a frequency of taking your pills: three times a day—as if our schedule only consists of talking with them while we don’t even enjoy the conversation, and desperately think how to end it, and later, when it is getting worse and no longer bearable, we try to avoid it as often as we can. And oh boy, you’ll be amazed of how persistent they can be!
For me, friendship develops gradually—from an acquaintance, friend, close friend, more than a friend, and God willing, perhaps he is that long awaited soulmate. And so, a friend of a friend who you’ve just met one or twice is being unfair when he demands more time than what you have or are willing to spare for your own friends.
And also, there are some seasonal friends—those who were part of our stages in life and now as time has passed and you’ve changed a lot, you two might not fit in anymore to each other—and so he also has to start from the beginning again. And if he is not patient enough to go through the friendship phases I mentioned above, and trying to skip some initial phases instead, I find him very intrusively demanding, impolite, and extremely bugging. He is just like blasting rock music when what you really need is tranquility. He robs your peace by always pushing but never understanding.
However, the only question with me now is this: If a prince charming starts acting like a stalker, will he make you super-thrilled with the lavishing of attention, or will you downgrade his position to a ‘stalker category’ and lose your interest in him? I happen to have not a chance yet to test the hypothesis. But as for me, no matter how deeply I am attracted to somebody, I cannot let him have my whole time—I still need some for my family, friends and girlfriends, and most of all, being an introvert, I need time for my own self.
In this case, my previous objection towards long distance relationship starts to dissolve itself. In short words, I’m willing to try it even though I know that there will be times when all I can do is sitting alone on a bench in a garden, tearing the petals from their core one by one while sadly whispering to myself: he loves me… he loves me not… he loves me…. he loves me not…..he loves me.
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