People, stop turn over your calendars!
Clock, stop ticking!
Earth, stop revolving!
Let me enjoy being 26 a lil bit longer, please?
Monday, May 12, 2008
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
SEARCHING WITHOUT HOPING TO FIND….
….. and waiting for something I did not want to come true. That was the ‘title’ of my life chapter last week.
Yea, after feeling an extreme fatigue, intense headache, sore in my joints, nausea and tummy-ache, I was struck with a terror of having to repeat my nightmare two years ago, when I had a close brush with death.
So I frantically searched for red spots all over my skin, and waited for the more convincing symptom of dengue: a sudden high fever, which would cause you to grit your teeth in cold while your body is as hot as a stove, and which would turn my fears into reality: dengue fever for the second time.
Even thinking about it made me shiver with fears, and imagining those lonely hours at the hospital drove me to tears. As I lied awake in my bed, with a spinning head and without any energy left on my sweated body, I sobbed and could not help picking up a bone with God. Why me again? Why this time, when I have so much to do and I cannot tell my mom of my worries, since she has had enough from taking care of my sick dad?
But luckily the good sense got the best of me and I started to pray that God miraculously would spare me from that darned disease. Distant and rare my prayers were, He was and is and will be faithful to hear me.
The following morning, instead of getting worse, I felt so much better and relieved and soooo happy that even if somebody had dared to step on my feet on purpose, slap me on both cheeks and insult me flat out, I don’t think I could’ve gotten angry. Amazing how gratitude can make you much more patient, eh?
(I’m also so grateful for those caring people who love me enough to share my worries and burdens, amidst my paranoid state of mind!)
Yea, after feeling an extreme fatigue, intense headache, sore in my joints, nausea and tummy-ache, I was struck with a terror of having to repeat my nightmare two years ago, when I had a close brush with death.
So I frantically searched for red spots all over my skin, and waited for the more convincing symptom of dengue: a sudden high fever, which would cause you to grit your teeth in cold while your body is as hot as a stove, and which would turn my fears into reality: dengue fever for the second time.
Even thinking about it made me shiver with fears, and imagining those lonely hours at the hospital drove me to tears. As I lied awake in my bed, with a spinning head and without any energy left on my sweated body, I sobbed and could not help picking up a bone with God. Why me again? Why this time, when I have so much to do and I cannot tell my mom of my worries, since she has had enough from taking care of my sick dad?
But luckily the good sense got the best of me and I started to pray that God miraculously would spare me from that darned disease. Distant and rare my prayers were, He was and is and will be faithful to hear me.
The following morning, instead of getting worse, I felt so much better and relieved and soooo happy that even if somebody had dared to step on my feet on purpose, slap me on both cheeks and insult me flat out, I don’t think I could’ve gotten angry. Amazing how gratitude can make you much more patient, eh?
(I’m also so grateful for those caring people who love me enough to share my worries and burdens, amidst my paranoid state of mind!)
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