THE PIANIST

I finally could watch it, after so long had been wanting to. Anita lent it to me, along with ‘In America’, which I also loved (though the story was really slow) –I like the song by the Corrs (Time Enough for Tears, one of my favorites) at the end especially. Apparently both were based on true stories. But The Pianist was really grim and heart-wrenching. Really, watching movies like that about the holocaust (like Anne Frank and also Life is Beautiful) just make me cry and feel grateful to be alive. Sometimes crying is as good as laughing, though.

WHEN THE GALS GOT TOGETHER...

Surely foods abound! (also grace…in our friendships)…after a year living in Jakarta, my social life is slowly reviving again, and my friendship link broadens little by little, like a blossoming flower. What a beauty!
I enjoyed the ‘girls only- party’ at Anita’s flat, enjoyed the prayers, fellowship, sharing time, card games, and most of all, the foods! Ahahah…

WHAT A FAKE!

Be careful if you are stopped by a bunch of people at the mall who asked you to scratch a coupon to get a bonus. I was wasting my time listening to their lecture about the stuff they are trying to sell to you (well, trying is not the right word, pushing is). They asked me a quiz, and then they all cheered up for my ‘luck’…and then they asked me to pull one coupon again out of five, and when I got one with three pictures of electronic equipments, they faked an awed expression on their faces (none of them is likely to get an oscar)…”ohhhh…how lucky you are…”, “Wow…noone has ever got three at once…”, “Remember me when you are rich..” and other idle talks like that. I was not stupid, thinking people I don’t know could easily gave way fortune to me? Come on, this is a real world! Instead, I was just alarmed. There was no thrill at all inside me that I had won anything. I knew they were up to something, but believe me, there was no way you could try to wiggle out of that situation and escaped. They were practically mobbing me. They asked me to talk with someone on the phone, who convinced me that I was the luckiest girl on earth, bringing all those ‘free gifts’ piling up around me…and at the end (I knew it..I knew it!!)…they were forcing me to buy one of their ‘cheapest’ products, which costs millions, as a second-split decision, while I don’t even need those things. Thank you for thinking that I am that rich, and I am ok with people trying to do business the best they can, but it’s just the deceit and faking up that made me sick.
Finally when I had enough and my patience was about to turn into anger, I rose up (for fearing I might explode – it was almost 5 pm and I didn’t even have time to have lunch, and still I had some errands to do, so I got all cranky, don’t blame me) and interrupted their endless talk. “Give me fifteen minutes to think, and if I don’t come back, just cancel my luck.” Off I went out of that terrible store, and I didn’t even think twice to hail a cab and go home.

LIFE IS AMAZINGLY FUNNY

Have you known someone you haven’t met, and then when you finally met them you didn’t realize they were right in front of you until they gave you a name card?
It happened to me tonight, when Gina invited me to have dinner with her friends from church. One of them, Vita, gave me her name card and suddenly I realized that this gal was actually in my friend network on bigchurch.com (something like friendster, for those who don’t know what it is)…and then we were howling, so excited to be able to see each other face to face unexpectedly. Gina was in awe to hear us talk about our ‘same’ friends.
FYI, I’m not looking for someone to date on internet by registering myself, but to build friendships with many wonderful people. Among them is Anna Merli, a nice Italian Momma who sent me an Italian Bible last Christmas…grazie Anna! (praying for your second baby delivery!).
And now, my friendship with Vita is about to begin. It’s neat that we live in the same city too.
“God is wonderful,” she said. “That we finally met this way.”
I agree, Vita!

A CALL FROM CRISTINA DEROSSI, LA MIA COCCOLA AMICA

Finally, the long-waited phone call from Italy happened almost an hour ago. I jumped from my chair when the phone rang. When I picked it up, someone was talking in Italian, like a music to my ear, reminding me of an intro (by Syria, I think she’s an Italian singer or radio announcer) of a song ‘La Segreteria’ from my fave Italian band Neri per Caso. But the one talking on the phone now was not a ‘segreteria’ or a stranger, but it was Cristina Derossi, my sweet ‘coccola’ Italian pal from Trieste.
Too bad, the connection was so bad, and my Italian was even worse. I was often at lost, didn’t know what to say cos I didn’t even understand what she was talking about, even when she (PATIENTLY) said her sentences slowly word by word, and even tried her best to translate some of it into English, or made some sound effects to make it easier for me to understand her (like tuut..tuutt…for il treno, or the train). And when I asked her about her harp, she even played it a bit for me. I could hear the wonderful sound of it amidst all other noises that interrupted almost all of our conversation. With my broken Italian, I asked her to hang up and try to call back after a minute, with a hope that the connection would get better by then. I was praying hard for it, really. It is really stressful when you only have a bit of knowledge about a particular language and the connection is not on your side at all because of the great distance. I felt like a dummy, and I was hoping for a miracle not to suddenly become so fluent in Italian, but at least for a clear connection so Cristina and I could communicate, and she wouldn’t end up wasting her phone bills trying to teach an Italian lesson to such a moron like me.
Three times the phone rang afterwards, and I couldn’t even hear a voice, but at the 4th attempt, finally we could talk again. This time, I could hear her voice much better. Still, it took me ten seconds to remember how to say ‘better’ in Italian (MEGLIO MEGLIO MEGLIO!), and instead of saying 1500 like I planned, I said 150 (arghhh, number always confuses me anyway!). She promised me to send a CD of the pictures from her trip around Europe, and I was mortified because I haven’t written a reply to her letter I received long time ago, due to my busyness. I have been listening the OPI interviews (through the phone) for our research at work (it’s an interview with an expert to determine your ability in a particular language, with the scale 0-5). If tonight were also an OPI interview, I think I would get 0+, really. I had been nervous about it. I had even written things I might want to say to Cristina and rehearsed it twice, and I brought the paper with me, also a big Italian dictionary on my lap when we were talking, but those didn’t really help. I need to start learning Italian again!
Anyway, I don’t regret this evening at all. I am so glad to hear Cristina’s voice before meeting her someday (or like she said, un giorno), either in Trieste, or Giacarta. And I really loved to hear her laugh… (mi e’ piaciuto quando ti ho sentito ridere!)
Cristina, spero che quando leggi questa posta, saprei che sono stata molto CONTENTA di sentire la tua dolce voce e mi sento benedetta di avere una amica cosi coccola come te! Grazie di nuovo per avermi telefonato, cara!

SO GOOD TO BE AT THE GYM AGAIN!

I have been a slug lately: Gone once miss energetic and sporty who used to visit the gym or athletic stadium and swimming pool regularly. Now my lifestyle is not healthy at all. I stay up late and wake up late. I haven’t done any sport at all since I moved in to the new place. I eat at random times, no wonder my gastritis relapses frequently. So it was great to have a chance to move my legs again today! My friend and I went to an aerobic class this afternoon and we had fun. Suddenly I felt so healthy again!

HEART-SHAPED CHOCOLATES!

Remember when I said I expected nothing for my Valentine’s day this year? But huahahahahaahaha….I finally got a couple of heart-shaped chocolate two days later, when Olive and I had a ‘date’ in our fave café, only for awhile, because she still had to go back to work. They were wrapped in a little beautiful pink box, decorated by a cool lid with her sweet words on it. Creative, she is. Thanksfully I also had a bar of chocolate for her, knowing that she has a sweet tooth. When I said I wanted to take my picture with the chocolates and her, she refused to participate because she was having a bad hair day and wearing no make-ups. So, there’s only me and the chocs on it.

(NOT) LOVING BANDUNG (ON A RAINY DAY)

A windy and heavy rain welcomed me as I entered Bandung, and I was starving in the bus. I had a light breakfast, thinking that I could make it before lunch time. But the toll road was still under reconstruction so the trip was longer than I had expected.
Not far from me, a girl opened up a bag of chips and started munching, and my mouth watered. Where are the street vendors when you need them? I often think that they are bugging, but at that time I wished they had been there. Suddenly I missed my Mom and her habit, loading her children lots of foods when we’re about to travel. I just closed my eyes and secretly praying that the rain would stop when we arrived at the station. But it didn’t. It was pouring mercilessly on my poor little body as I got off the bus. I nodded when someone offered me a taxi. He and the driver set a high price. I tried to haggle a bit, but then I gave up because I was worried that the raindrops would ruin the precious electronic equipment I was carrying cos my tiny umbrella didn’t help much. After we arrived at my destination, the driver asked so much more than the price we had agreed on. I was so upset, but couldn’t do much but paying him that much. Gggrrrhhhhhh…….it was a bad trip and a bad day for me, but I was cheered up a bit when my friend and I decided to watch our favorite movie While You Were Sleeping. I used to watch it on TV every Christmas and never got bored with it. Hmmm…it’s so romantic! I love Jack (Bill Pullman) and Lucy (Sandra Bullock) and her dreams to visit Italy just like mine…I even like the poinsettia she brought on Christmas party at The Callaghans’….such a right movie to soothe you when everything seems to go wrong…

VALENTINE

Happy Valentine’s day!
My smile pin was PINK, my bed sheet is PINK, my dust bin is PINK, my left hand nails are covered with transparent nail polish decorated by little PINK flowers on top, and our office cook has a PINK eye today!
Well…well…I guess Santo Valentino is really coming, at least in my small world. And do I expect a bouquet of roses, a heart-shaped chocolate, a romantic dinner with a violinist playing a beautiful music as the background, or a serenade under the moonlight and my balcony (if I have any)? Not at all. This would pass like any other day. I’ll go to the office at 9, and then occupy myself by making appointments for this week. Nothing romantic will happen, I suppose.
One of my girlfriends in Bandung often calls me Miss Romance (guess why??). Well, part of me is still that way, but another part has also grown cynical to anything cliché that I used to fancy. I wish I still could believe in love at the first sight, or romantic fairy tales, but I don’t, unless I experience it myself.
Now I remember the Valentine story of my dear Korean friend, Mrs. Shin. She told me that when she was a teenager in Korea, the girls who didn’t get anything on Valentine’s day would hold a party (maybe to cheer themselves up) on Friday, a week after Valentine’s day (it is called Grey Friday or something like that). And she blushed when I said that I was sure she never had to attend that kind of party, guessing that many guys must have been in line to ask her out (for she is such a beauty).
February 14 is also a great reminder that my best friend Sarah’s birthday is only two days away. My present for her arrived too early this year. I made her a crocheted scarf with little flowers and fringes on it, knowing that Switzerland is still cold in February. And guess what the main color of it was? Yeah, you’re right. PINK!

FRIENDS

Just got home from a long day, what a relief!
Couldn’t sleep well last night after waiting for Cristina’s call for almost three hours, spending it by watching TV with the two maids in the living room of my boarding house. It was an Indonesian movie, which was a copycat of the movie Serendipity I watched years ago (starring John Cussack and Kate Beckinsale). Apparently Cristina had emailed me to cancel our appointment, but I didn’t open my mailbox during the whole weekend (too busy karaoke-ing :p), but we will try again next week.

Tonight I escaped from my office at 3 pm, dressing up for half an hour, and then went to the Christian gathering with my friend Intan. It was a long long way, but it was fun to get together with our friends. For the first time after a long time, I became an usher, showing people the empty spots and being friendly to them. To be honest, I’m not so into strangers, and sometimes I’m too timid to be friendly that people may think I’m a haughty girl. And being among people I don’t know really drains me out. And maybe that’s why it always takes awhile for me before I can really get along with new people.

However, despite my limited social grace and super shyness, I am blessed with some great friendships. Sometimes I wonder how many potentially great friends I missed out because I didn’t have courage to step out of my comfort zone, but then I’ve come to realize that great friends are gifts from God that can’t be snatched away by anything or anyone. And He Himself has set an example by being my best friend I can always rely on.

DEATH

What a stressful Sunday!
I woke up at dawn, thinking that someone tried to break in. I was so nervous that when morning came and I heard the three maids talked outside my room in Javanese that I hardly understood, I assumed they talked about the bad guy. My room location is likely to be the first visited by the robbers, if any, and I would be the first one to get killed. But when I asked one of them, she didn’t even know what I was talking about.
Maybe I was affected too much by my friends’ comment about the security of my room when they walked me home after we spent two hours singing (or yelling) at karaoke. The curtains that cover the glass wall of my room have some uncovered parts, but I don’t know what to do with them. That’s why I always feel insecure everytime I undress.

I decided to skip church this Sunday, which is a shame. I was so passionate and excited to find a new place to worship nearby. I longed for a community where my spiritual life could be nurtured, and I enjoyed the worship because the English songs were familiar to my ears, and it had been ages since I sang them in a congregation like that. I even asked the pastor to give me the registration sheet to sign up for their Bible study, but then I got sick on Wednesday so I couldn’t come. There’s a guy who works there and I met him for the first time in my new boarding house when I was hanging my wet clothes upstairs. We talked a bit and then after that he began to stalk me. He said he had begun noticing me since I first came, and then he asked me to go to a service for young adult, and he always sits down in front of my room whenever I come home from work, and it’s bugging me. I don’t even know his name, and I don’t wanna know. I hate the way he hums the same line of a song everytime he passes my room, as if he wants to impress me with his vibrating voice, though it helps me to know that he’s there and so I won’t come out of my room just to avoid him. If I always smiled whenever I met him before, now I started to only nod, and maybe later I will ignore him at all, if he keeps doing that.
Such a shame! I can’t go worship to a place just because of a stalker!

So, to kill my Sunday time, I tried to reduce the pile of unanswered emails. This time I picked those in Italian, trying my best to understand it all with a help of my dictionary. It’s been so long since I made a conscious effort to improve my Italian vocab. I’m also nervous about the phone call I am supposed to receive tonight at 9 pm from Trieste, Italy. It’s one of my Italian penpals named Cristina who insisted on calling me, though I warned her that my Italian is so poor (I can only write, but never really speak it after so long), and that we may not understand each other. But she wrote “Non ti preoccupare io ti parlerò in italiano LENTAMENTE!” (Don’t worry I will speak Italian with you SLOWLY!)..and so here I am, nervously trying to think what to say. While doing that, my mind was distracted by a pitiful sob of a grown up man, followed by a chant of people that I recognized as a chant when someone dies. And everything made me ill-at ease. I put an earphone in a hurry and listen to Shania Twain’s songs instead, but the nervous feeling is still there. I’ve never faced death of the beloved ones before. There has been no death within my core family, except my brother. Mom and Dad told me of how they had twin babies, 9 years before I was born. One of them died three days later, the other one is still alive until now, and we usually have a great time together watching football on tv. So, if there’s death around me, there’s a fear inside that I don’t know how to erase it. I don’t know how I will react when someone so dear to me dies (which of course, will happen someday, whether I like it or not). Will I cry for weeks (like when one of my kittens was dead, attacked by a dog), or even months, years, forever? Imagining the unbearable pain, I sometime think, maybe it’s better if I die first so I don’t have to be sad. But it is also such a selfish thought and wish when I think of people who would be crying over my death. My parents are getting old now. My Dad is getting slow because of his age. If before, it was them who always seemed to worry about me, now I think I am more worried about them. I really wish them a long life and great health. I want to do so many things for them that I still cant now. I also want my future kids to know the wonderful grandparents like they are, especially since I’ve never known how it feels to know my grandparents.

One thing consoling about death is that I know where I and most of the people I love will go after we die, to a far better place than this failing world, even more beautiful than Italy, the country I have wanted to visit all my life.

So, I am not afraid to die. I’m ready to be with Jesus in heaven anytime. It is the sorrow that death always leaves on earth that I dread so much.

FINDING THE LOST ONES

This afternoon I had a nice chat with my ibu kost when she caught me taking pictures of her plants (she owns a house of bougenville, which won an award in 2001). From her lovely green garden upstairs we continued chatting in her living room. I think I could get lost easily in her house which is not too big, but has lots of rooms and stairs.

Then I found out that she has just found her relatives in The Netherlands after 60 years being separated! (thanks to internet). One family is visiting her next September and she is very thrilled to wait for that moment. I told her also about my own relatives who might be still in Holland until now. My Dad’s elder sister got married to a Dutch man about 64 years ago and they settled in Bandung. Dad has memories only about the times when he slept over in their house and played with their two little kids, he was also still a small child back then. He only remembers their first names (Hengky and Laura with their kids Johan and Rossy), no matter how hard I pressed him to recall their family name. They moved to Holland and because of the war they had lost contact until now.

Aunt Laura and Uncle Hengky must have been gone long time ago, but I am sure that their kids, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren are still there somewhere. But how would I recognize any of them if one day our path crosses? How sad if I meet them somewhere and we think of each other as merely strangers, while in our veins runs the same blood. And for that reason, Holland is now the third country that I most want to visit, after Italy and Switzerland. Good thing that all of them are located in the same continent, uh?